Death's Tiny Tea House - Being With Dying

The Buddha’s teachings on impermanence and death are fundamental:

“I am of the nature to die,
there is no way to escape death.“All that is dear to me and everyone I love
are of the nature of change;
there is no way to escape
being separated from them.”

The Five Remembrances

And, at the same time, we live and practice in a culture that generally discourages discussion of dying, death, and grief. Death’s Tiny Tea House will provide the community an opportunity for an open conversation about death and related topics.

Discussion at this Saturday afternoon Tea House will feature the theme of being with the suffering of others who are dying. The Tea House conversation will be facilitated by Temple Priest Kodo and ZCO member Gwen Shōjaku Wolfenbarger. The discussion is intended to create space for our personal questions, confusions, and fears. Hopefully the discussion will touch on our practice as well.

Suggested reading prior to this meeting is Being With Dying by Roshi Joan Halifax, chapters 9-12. This book is available through the Heart of Wisdom library for ZCO members as well as the Multnomah County Library.

Some questions to consider prior to this meeting: What fears do you have around being with a dying person? Halifax identifies roles that often emerge in the shadow side of caregiving; which of these archetypes have you seen in yourself? How has your spiritual practice informed your experience of being with the dying of others?

Each Tea House will open with a short period of Zazen. We will introduce ourselves and explain what brought us to the Tiny Tea House. After that, we will just allow the discussion to flow. At the end of the Tea House everyone will have an opportunity to express how they are feeling or anything that is on their mind and heart. Tea and cookies will be served. Questions? Email gwen.wolfenbarger@gmail.com.

Date: Saturday, February 28, 2026
Time: 2:00 – 4:00 p.m.
Location: Heart of Wisdom Zen Temple. In-person only.
Price: Free/by donation. Specify any amount; $20 suggested donation